


All At Sea

by realityisoverrated



Series: Infinite Love [200]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Smoaking billionaires, Toliver, flommy, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 14:08:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19230673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realityisoverrated/pseuds/realityisoverrated
Summary: Oliver joins Felicity and Tommy aboard the Sunnybrook. They say that they've forgiven him for leaving them, but he's never felt so alone.





	All At Sea

**Author's Note:**

> This story depicts a polyamorous relationship between one woman and two men. If this is not something you are interested in, please stop and go no further.
> 
> It's hard for me to believe, but this is the 200th installment in this series. Thank you to everyone who has taken this journey with me - whether you've been here since the first installment or you're joining me here, your support and enthusiasm has meant the world to me.
> 
> This installment is 59/200. The chronological list for the series, with hyperlinks, can be found at  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/11051019

Artwork by smoaking-greenarrow

 

The Pacific Ocean sparkled before Oliver as he leaned against the starboard railing of the Sunnybrook. Tommy had been hugging the coast since they left Starling for Oliver’s benefit. Oliver wished he didn’t need the sight of land to prevent panic from taking hold, but he appreciated that Tommy was doing it without needing to be asked. As Oliver looked towards the western horizon, he reminded himself that he was always safe in Tommy’s hands. The reassuring presence of the California coast behind him allowed Oliver to focus on the pod of dolphins that appeared to be racing Tommy’s sailboat. Their sudden appearance had put Oliver at ease for the first time since he’d stepped aboard.

Felicity was at the bow of the boat filming their new travel companions. The sound of her laughter and her shouts of encouragement to the sleek mammals could be heard over the whipping wind. Oliver removed his cell from his pocket and recorded Felicity. It had been months since the last time she looked so carefree in his presence. Oliver glanced towards the stern. Tommy stood at the wheel with a large smile on his face. Even wearing his sunglasses, Oliver could tell that Tommy only had eyes for Felicity.

Six weeks didn’t seem like a significant amount of time, but the axis of their relationship had completely shifted in that time. Things had changed between Tommy and Felicity during his absence. Tommy and Felicity had always been in love, but their love always had a place for Oliver. For the first time since they started their relationship, Oliver felt like an interloper.

When Oliver lived with the Yamashiro’s in Hong Kong, Tatsu had a cup that had once belonged to a tea service passed down to her through her mother’s line. The cup was all that was left from the original service. The cup had several cracks that had been repaired by being filled with gold. The practice was called kintsugi. Tatsu had explained that the damage and repair were a part of the history of the cup and made it more valuable for that history. Late at night, Oliver would sometimes find Tatsu sitting at their small table running her fingers over the golden cracks. He often wondered what she was remembering as her fingers lingered on the gold. He liked the idea of honoring damage by repairing it with gold. He sometimes felt like Felicity and Tommy’s love was the gold that filled the cracks left by the years he spent away from home.

As he observed Felicity and Tommy, Oliver suspected that the damage he created in their relationship had been repaired by the same love that had repaired him. It was as if they had filled the space that had belonged to Oliver with their love for each other while he was gone. Not for the first time since Caitlyn had given him the all clear from the Scarecrow’s fear toxin, he found himself questioning whether Tommy and Felicity would be better off without him. They’d found a way to be happy. Without him, they could have a normal life lived out in the open. Tommy could have what he’d always wanted – a marriage and a family. Felicity would never again have to fear being abandoned.

“Faster,” Felicity shouted to Tommy, her arms lifted over her head in jubilation.

Tommy gave her a quick salute before he pulled the line for the sail. The Sunnybrook sliced through the water with greater speed and Felicity whooped with delight. She left the bow of the boat and slid past Oliver with a gentle squeeze of his arm and a bright smile. Felicity ducked beneath Tommy’s arms and stood in front of him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin against his sternum. Tommy leaned forward and kissed her.

Oliver returned his attention to the dolphins who were managing to keep pace with the boat. He wondered at the sleek mammals in the surf. Felicity had told Oliver that they were bow riding and that the wake the Sunnybrook was creating allowed the dolphins to move through the water faster with greater efficiency. Oliver didn’t doubt that Felicity understood the physics of what was going on, but he couldn’t help but think the dolphins were bow riding for the pure fun of it. Oliver wished he could achieve the same level of carefree joy the dolphins were exuding as they broke the surface and leaped through the air. Much like the dolphins, Tommy and Felicity were better at living in the moment than he was. Oliver could shut out the world when there was a target to stalk, but when he was with the people he loved, he could never silence his thoughts. When Oliver looked at Felicity and Tommy, all he could see was what he had to lose.

Felicity’s laughter drew Oliver’s attention back to her. Tommy was tickling her sides as she steered the boat. The sensation of a fist squeezing his heart seized Oliver’s chest. As he looked at Felicity and Tommy, happy in the sun and wind, all he could see was what he might’ve already lost.

 

Oliver stood in front of the mirror in the tiny bathroom aboard the Sunnybrook. It had been at least five minutes since he’d finished brushing his teeth, but he couldn’t bring himself to join Tommy and Felicity. They’d had a busy day sailing and there hadn’t been any awkwardness as he followed Tommy’s orders to trim the sails. The awkwardness didn’t come until Tommy anchored the boat for the night. Tommy and Felicity had tried to engage him in conversation, but Oliver struggled to find the right words. They’d eaten their dinner, in loaded silence, and then watched the sunset together. When the sun dipped below the horizon, Tommy and Felicity had retreated below deck. Oliver had declined their offer to join them and stayed to watch the first stars appear in the sky before he’d gone below. Felicity and Tommy were already in bed by the time Oliver went to the bathroom.

Oliver hated feeling like he was on unsteady ground with the people he loved most. Felicity was acting like her usual self – warm, compassionate, and forgiving. It had been almost too easy with her in comparison to Tommy. He had to keep reminding himself that Felicity didn’t have a lifetime of him disappointing her like Tommy did. Oliver had hurt her when he’d left, but she was convinced his actions were the result of the fear toxin, not a rational choice. Tommy had seen the fear toxin as a catalyst that gave Oliver the excuse he’d been looking for to leave. Oliver wanted to believe that he’d only left because of the fear toxin and not because he was repeating the self-destructive patterns of his youth. In the past, the thought of a stable relationship made his skin itch with the need to escape the responsibilities and obligations that came with having a partner. Now, the thought of spending the rest of his life with Tommy and Felicity filled him with peace. Oliver only wanted to be with Tommy and Felicity. He was willing to do whatever it took to help get them all through the damage he’d caused. He’d asked to come with them on the Sunnybrook to show Tommy and Felicity how serious he was about fixing what he’d broken.

“Idiot,” he said to his reflection. His reflection nodded in agreement.

Tommy was on the bed, leaning against the bulkhead with a navigational chart on his lap and a pencil behind his ear. Felicity was laying on her stomach with her knees bent and her ankles crossed. Her legs swung slightly as she ate an apple and browsed on her tablet. She held her apple out to Tommy and he took a bite without taking his attention from the chart in front of him. Felicity spotted Oliver and smiled, she held out the apple to him.

“I just brushed my teeth,” Oliver told her.

Felicity patted the bed beside her, “I didn’t let that stop me.”

Oliver sat on the mattress, but left his feet on the floor. He was unsure if he was bunking with them for the night.

“Are you seasick?” Tommy asked.

Oliver turned his head to look at Tommy, “No. Why?”

“You’ve been quiet since we anchored. Sometimes the gentle rocking makes people more nauseous than when we’re moving,” Tommy said without looking up.

“When he says, people, he means me,” Felicity grinned. She held up her hand for Oliver to see a band on her wrist, “Works on pressure points. The first night I spent on the Sunnybrook, it was ugly – so much vomiting. I can’t believe he didn’t pitch me overboard. I have another in my bag, if you want it.” She pointed to her bag sitting on a small table.

Oliver was curious and retrieved the band from her bag. He slipped it onto his wrist and returned to the bed. Felicity sat up and held out her hand. Oliver placed his wrist in her hand and she adjusted it until two beads were pressing against the inside of his wrist. He rubbed his wrist and smiled at Felicity, “Thank you.”

Tommy got off the bed and placed the navigational charts on the table beside Felicity’s bag, “We should get some sleep.”

A look of sadness crossed Tommy’s face as he looked at Oliver and Felicity. Oliver and Felicity reached for him at the same time. “What’s wrong?” they asked together.

“I’m going to check on the anchor,” Tommy said backing away from them. He turned quickly and fled above deck.

“Damn it,” Oliver muttered.

Felicity kissed his shoulder, “I’ll go.”

In Oliver’s vast experience with Tommy, that particular look of sadness was usually his fault. “No, I’ll go.”

“Oliver,” Felicity called after him.

Oliver stopped climbing the steps and returned to their berth. “Yeah?”

Felicity took his hands and gave him a small encouraging smile. “He’s trying. He loves you and he wants to move past this.”

“But – I hurt him,” Oliver said with understanding, because he did. He knew that he’d hurt them both, even though, at the time, he’d thought he was protecting them. His choice to leave had opened old wounds that had never fully healed for Tommy.

Felicity nodded her head, his own sadness reflected in her eyes. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, Felicity.” Oliver was profoundly sorry. He wished that he could go back and stop himself from ever walking out their front door. Tommy had promised him that he’d regret it for the rest of their lives and Oliver knew now that he would.

“I know you are – we both do.” Felicity let go of his hands. “Go on, he needs you, even if it doesn’t seem that way.”

Oliver found Tommy at the bow of the boat looking at the stars. The night sky was spectacular, and it reminded him of laying beneath the stars with Shado as she named constellations for him. There weren’t many things he missed from the five years he was away, but the starry sky and Shado’s stories about the constellations were one of them. Tommy’s shoulders were slumped. Oliver doubted he was even seeing the stars he was staring at. The last thing Oliver wanted was to cause Tommy more distress than he already had. Oliver sat on the railing and offered, “I can get off at the nearest port tomorrow morning and you and Felicity can go on to Santa Barbara without me. I’ll wait for you at home.”

“Ollie,” Tommy sighed.

“Maybe this is too much, too soon. We said we would all talk, but we haven’t done much talking,” Oliver said.

“Damn it,” Tommy said sharply. “I’m not putting you off at the next port. I want you here.”

“You say that, but that’s not what I’m getting from you.” Oliver pointed towards the stairs, “What was that just now? You looked sad to see me in your bed.”

“Do you know how many of my fantasies start with you and Felicity on that bed? How long we’ve waited to have you in that bed? And now that you’re here, I’m too fucking angry with you to live out my fantasies – so yeah, seeing you in that bed makes me fucking sad.” Tommy wiped his eyes before any angry tears could fall. “It’s supposed to be our bed.”

“Tommy,” Oliver said softly. He hated seeing Tommy in pain, but more than that, he hated that he was the one causing Tommy’s pain.

“Don’t you dare fucking apologize again,” Tommy snapped.                                     

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Oliver admitted. “I’m trying.”

Tommy nodded his agreement, his shoulders sagging in defeat, “I know you are, but…”

“You’re still pissed with me,” Oliver finished.

“I don’t want to be, honestly, I don’t, but I am. You left, Ollie. It was the one thing I asked from you when we started this, and you still ran. Bad things happen when you leave,” Tommy said softly.

Visions of Tommy standing on the staircase at the Queen mansion before Oliver left on the Gambit swam before his eyes. Tommy had begged him not to go then too. Back then, his choices put Tommy through five years of hell. This time his absence had only been six weeks, but Tommy had still suffered. “I screwed up,” Oliver said placing his hand on Tommy’s back. When Tommy didn’t flinch at his touch, Oliver ran his hand up over his shoulder and across his chest. He pulled Tommy’s back against his chest and nuzzled his nose against his boyfriend’s neck. “I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I allowed my fears to do the one thing I never wanted to do to you. I love you. If you let me, I will spend the rest of our lives proving to you how much I love you.”

Tommy turned in Oliver’s arms. He placed his hands onto Oliver’s chest, “I don’t want you to feel like you have anything to prove. That’s no way to live. I just need some time.”

“To forgive me – I get it,” Oliver said.

Tommy shook his head, “I’ve forgiven you, Ollie. I understand why you did, what you did. You broke my heart when you left.” He rubbed his hand over his chest, “It still hurts.”

Oliver dropped his forehead to Tommy’s, “I broke my heart too.”

A sad smile turned up Tommy’s lips. “My heart is bruised, but being here with you, it’s starting to feel better. I want you here with us. Thank you for coming with us – I know the boat isn’t easy for you.”

Felicity announced her arrival by clearing her throat. She wrapped her arms around them both. “Come to bed. We’ve got an early start.”

Oliver hesitated to follow them. Tommy looked over his shoulder and cocked an eyebrow. Oliver scrambled for an excuse to stay up. He couldn’t face Tommy’s reluctance to have him in his bed. “I’m not tired,” he said lamely.

Tommy held out his hand, “Come to bed, Ollie. We’ll figure everything out, I promise.”

 

Oliver followed Felicity and Tommy into the hotel suite they’d rented for the night. Tommy carried his and Felicity’s duffle into one of the bedrooms as Felicity flopped onto a sofa with her eyes still glued to her tablet.

“There’s a vineyard, babe,” Felicity called out to Tommy.

“There’s wine on the boat, babe,” Tommy said peeking his head out of their room before disappearing again. “If we want to make it to Santa Barbara and back, no side trips.”

Oliver stood, immobile, with his duffle over his shoulder. For appearances sake, they always rented suites, which meant Oliver had two bedrooms to pick from. He knew the one he wanted to pick, but he wasn’t sure if the reprieve Tommy and Felicity had given him the night before still held. He didn’t want to presume he was sharing their bed again.

He’d been surprised when Tommy announced they were putting in for shore and would be spending the night at a hotel. Oliver had assumed they would be spending every night on the Sunnybrook. He couldn’t help but worry that Tommy had put in because he changed his mind and no longer wanted to share the small stateroom with Oliver. He thought they’d had a great day together on the ocean, but he was fearing his newly blossoming sense of hope had caused him to misread the situation.

“Earth to Oliver,” Felicity said with a hesitant smile.

“Yeah?” Oliver could feel his cheeks flush at being caught lost in thought.

“Go put your bag down and help me decide what we’re ordering from room service,” she gestured towards the room Tommy disappeared into.

Oliver smiled with relief. Felicity still wanted him in their bed. “I’ll be right back.”

He entered the bedroom to find Tommy sitting on the foot of the bed staring at his folded hands. Tommy startled when Oliver entered the room and smiled nervously.

“You okay?” Oliver asked, dropping his bag to the floor and stretching out a hand to Tommy.

Tommy stared at Oliver’s hand before he took it, “Yeah, just thinking about tomorrow’s course.”

Oliver knew Tommy well enough to know when he was lying but decided not to push. He followed Tommy’s gaze to his duffle, “Is this all right?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Tommy asked, dropping Oliver’s hand.

Oliver shifted uncomfortably, “I thought maybe we’re not spending the night on the Sunnybrook because you and Felicity don’t want to sleep with me.”

“You slept with us last night, and the night before,” Tommy said walking towards the balcony doors. He opened the curtains and the doors allowing a cool breeze to enter the room.

The balcony overlooked the harbor and the boats bobbing where they were docked at the marina. The sunset reflected on the water like glass, but heavy clouds were visible on the horizon. Tommy braced his hands on the railing and inhaled deeply. Oliver wasn’t sure if his presence would be welcomed but decided to follow Tommy into the early evening air.

“I didn’t know if the first night was because we were emotional and exhausted,” Oliver said into the night air, “and on the boat, there aren’t many options.”

Tommy lowered himself to his elbows, and glanced over at Oliver, “I promise. I didn’t have any sinister motivations for coming ashore tonight.” He gestured towards the water, “It’s going to rain, possible thunder and lightning. I thought it would be more comfortable for you if we were on dry land.”

Oliver felt shame flare in his chest. He should’ve expected nothing less from Tommy. “Thank you.” He ran his hand over his face and laughed bitterly. It felt like he was walking on eggshells and awkward in his own skin. He looked over at Tommy, “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know where to put my hands.”

“Where do you want to put your hands?” Tommy raised a lone brow.

Oliver laughed and leaned on the railing, “I want to hold onto you and Felicity and never let go.”

“Sounds like the right instinct to me.” Tommy side-stepped towards Oliver until their hips were pressed together. “It’s going to take time, Ollie. Felicity and I want you here. We’ve wanted you here for the past six weeks. I think we’re just a little nervous – and maybe a little afraid.”

“Afraid?” Oliver was unable to keep the surprise from his voice.

Tommy shrugged. “I think we’re both afraid that we’re going to wake up and this will have been a dream – that you didn’t come back.”

“I’m sorry, Tommy,” Oliver said again. He knew that there weren’t enough apologies to express how much he regretted his choice to leave them.

“We know you are,” Tommy said. “It’s just going to take time for us to trust you’re really home for good.”

“I’m never going to willingly leave you again,” Oliver promised.

Tommy searched Oliver’s eyes. He nodded. “I believe you.” His hand slid along the railing and covered Oliver’s. “I was serious yesterday. I don’t want you to feel like you need to keep apologizing. You’re forgiven.”

“There you are,” Felicity said as she stepped onto the balcony. She held up the room service menu, “I’m starved.”

Tommy stood up and rested his back against the railing, “Anything good on the menu?”

Felicity took a flirty step towards Tommy, “Oysters.” She took another step, “Champagne.” She took another step and pressed herself against Tommy on her tip toes. She bit his earlobe and then said, “Chocolate lava cake.”

Tommy wrapped his arms around Felicity, his hands cupping her bottom. “You’re going to turn into an oyster.”

She wrinkled her nose, “I’d rather be a lava cake.”

Tommy lowered his head and kissed Felicity softly. Oliver’s heart raced and his stomach twisted. Oysters and champagne weren’t new, they’d always been Tommy and Felicity’s thing. It was something they’d shared from the beginning, and Oliver had never been jealous about it before, except, Tommy and Felicity having sex against their front door was now burned into his memory. Listening to them laugh and tease as they made love was like torture. He’d never felt further from them than, in that moment, when he knew he couldn’t just join in.

“Hey,” Felicity said, wrapping her hand around Oliver’s arm. She rested her head on Tommy’s chest and smiled at Oliver. “What would you like for dinner?”

Oliver covered Felicity’s hand with his own. “A salad is fine.”

Tommy snorted his disapproval and held out the menu, “Pick out a protein and a carb.”

“The cobb salad looks good,” Felicity suggested to Oliver.

“I’ll have the cobb salad with the dressing on the side,” Oliver winked at Felicity.

“The two of you are impossible,” Tommy grumbled. He wrapped his arms around Felicity and stood up straight, “I’m going to order. We have an early start in the morning.”

 

Later, after they’d all showered separately and gotten ready for bed, Oliver and Felicity lay on the bed side by side. Rain lashed against the balcony doors and lightning occasionally sliced through the sky. Tommy, illuminated by a small lamp, was sitting at the desk reviewing his navigational chart and checking weather reports. Felicity hummed quietly as she read on her tablet. Oliver stared at the ceiling counting the seconds between the claps of thunder.

“Want to make out?” Felicity asked with a cheeky grin.

“What?” Oliver asked with surprise.

“I’m here, you’re here.” Felicity climbed onto his lap and put her arms around his neck, “I have two lips. You have two lips.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, glancing nervously at Tommy. His boyfriend didn’t appear to be paying any attention to them as he used a ruler to draw a line on the chart with his pencil. His eyes returned to Felicity’s. It wasn’t unusual for Felicity to offer to make out with him when there was a storm. It was easy to lose himself in her touch. But things were different now. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to kiss him because of the storm.

Felicity touched her lips and then Oliver’s, “Yep, two lips each.”

Oliver laughed as he brought his hands to her hips. Aside from some hugging and spooning, they’d both been keeping physical contact with him to a minimum. “I meant, are you sure you want to kiss me?”

“I’ve always found you fairly kissable,” she smiled as she traced his lips with her finger.

“Me too,” Oliver said.

Felicity brushed her lips against his. Her lips were slightly chapped from spending the past two days in the wind and sun, but they were sweet from the chocolate cake. Oliver accepted her kiss, but he didn’t chase her lips when she pulled away. He didn’t want to presume and needed her to take the lead.

Felicity ran her fingers through Oliver’s hair, and softly said, “Are you playing shy, Oliver Queen?”

He rolled his head against her fingers, enjoying the feeling of her caress. “No, I’m not playing shy.”

“Then kiss me like you mean it, Oliver,” she commanded as she lowered her chest against his. “I’ve missed these lips.”

Oliver cradled Felicity’s face between his hands, a small smile ghosting his lips before he whispered her name. He kissed her the way he’d been longing to, deep and unhurried. He could kiss her forever, if she’d let him. Felicity sighed and shifted from his lap. She returned to the bed, and Oliver followed, not wanting to break their connection. Felicity lowered herself to the mattress, taking Oliver with her. Cradled between her legs, Oliver held her hand against his chest and trailed his other down her side. Felicity gentled their kiss and Oliver pressed two lingering kisses to her lips before lowering his forehead to hers. “How was that?” Oliver asked.

“Very nice. I missed your kisses,” she said, fisting her hand in his shirt, “but not as much as I missed you.”

“Felicity, I’m sor…”

“Ssshh. I know you are,” she said with her finger pressed against his lips. “Besides, no more apologies.”

Thunder reverberated through their hotel room and Oliver jumped. Tommy had made the right decision to spend the night ashore. Oliver was certain he’d be having a panic attack if they’d remained on the open water. Oliver’s thumb absently rubbed the soft skin of Felicity’s lower back. The feel of her pressed against his side helped ground him to the present as the storm raged around him. Oliver swallowed heavily. “Thank you.”

Felicity’s hand rubbed his chest. “I think it will move on soon.”

“Yeah,” Oliver said hopefully.

“You okay?” Felicity asked, trying not to sound like she was worried.

Oliver nodded his confirmation, not trusting his voice. Felicity could always see through his lies. He was safely ashore with the two people he loved the most. His earlier thoughts had been consumed by his fear of failing their relationship not of nearly drowning at sea. It wasn’t only the thunder that made his heart race, but his fear that Felicity and Tommy would realize they were better off without him.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Felicity said into the dark.

Oliver chuckled softly. “Only a penny?”

“I’ll write you an I.O.U. Not all of us are billionaires,” she teased.

Oliver lifted his head to confirm Tommy was still distracted. Their boyfriend’s forehead was furrowed as he penciled calculations onto his map. “What if I was right to leave? What if you and Tommy are better off without me?” he asked in a whisper.

“What?” Felicity asked, rising to her elbow. “That was the fear serum making you believe that.”

“It was,” Oliver agreed. His exposure to the Scarecrow’s fear toxin had clouded his judgment and tainted his certainty about his relationship. Now that the effects of the fear toxin had run its course, Oliver was still left with a needling doubt. “Other than with you, I’ve never been in a successful relationship – or a healthy one.”

Felicity rested her chin on Oliver’s chest. “Neither have we. I don’t think you’re any worse at relationships than either of us.”

“Neither of you are cheaters,” Oliver said, grasping for evidence of why he remained unworthy.

Oliver could feel Felicity’s jaw and throat work against his chest as she swallowed heavily. “Do you want to cheat on us?”

“No, never,” he said without hesitation. He wrapped his arms around her. “You and Tommy are all I’ll ever need. I don’t want anyone else.”

“Just because you made mistakes in the past, it doesn’t mean you’ll make them again. Fidelity is a choice. If you don’t want to cheat, you won’t,” Felicity said with certainty. “We trust you.”

Oliver wasn’t worried that he would cheat on them either. He was a different man from the one who’d hopped from bed to bed without concern for whose heart he broke. “There are other ways I can hurt you.”

“You don’t need to tell me that. I know how easily you can break my heart. The thing is, when we decided to do this, we knew how hard it would be and that there was a chance for all of us ending up with broken hearts. I thought we decided it was worth the risk.”

“Loving you – loving Tommy – that’s not hard. The thought I might hurt you again, that’s what’s hard. I never want to be the cause of your pain. I love you both – so much.” Oliver wiped his eyes. “I hate myself for what I’ve put you both through. You deserve so much better than me.”

“That’s the thinking that got you into trouble six weeks ago,” Felicity said kindly. “Tommy and I are capable of deciding what we deserve without your help. We should be allowed to choose whether we want to be with you or not. If you don’t want to be with us, that’s your choice, but it’s not your choice whether or not we want to be with you.”

Oliver became aware that Tommy’s focus was no longer on his navigational charts, instead, it was lasered in on him. “Tommy?”

Tommy’s weight shifted and he rested his elbows on his knees. “Are you planning on leaving again? Is that what this trip is - a goodbye?”

“No,” Oliver said firmly. He needed Tommy to not only hear but believe his words. “I’m afraid I can’t fix this.”

“It’s not only on you to fix this. The three of us will do it together,” Felicity said.

“What if I broke us beyond repair?” Oliver said with panic throbbing in his chest as he voiced his real fear.

“We’re not broken, just a little bent,” Felicity said.

“Do you really believe that?” Oliver’s question was for them both, but it was mostly directed at Tommy. “I know you keep saying it, but it doesn’t feel like it. It feels like I need to prove something.”

“You don’t have anything to prove. We forgive you and we mean it.” Felicity clutched Oliver’s hand. “You made a mistake. We’ve made mistakes too and you’ve forgiven us.”

“Neither of you have ever made a mistake like this,” Oliver said.

“Someone has a selective memory,” Tommy said, his eyes boring into Oliver’s.

Oliver shook his head. He knew exactly what Tommy was referring to, but Tommy was wrong, their situations were nothing alike. Tommy’s suicide attempt hadn’t angered Oliver, it had terrified him – it still did.

“You just need to be patient – we all do. We will find ourselves again,” Felicity promised.

“Your lives would be easier without me.” Oliver’s voice broke, “You were happier without me.”

Tommy rose from the chair and flipped on the light next to the bed. Felicity and Oliver blinked at the sudden brightness. With a look of bewilderment he said, “I don’t fucking believe it. You’re worried we love each other more than we love you.”

“No,” Oliver protested weakly. He hated himself for feeling this way – it was ugly and selfish.

“Yes – yes you are. You’re not used to this feeling, but we know exactly how you feel. When we all started this, Felicity worried you loved me more than her and I worried you loved Felicity more than me. You never had to worry about it because our love for you is what brought us together.”

Tommy’s words were painful for Oliver to hear because he feared they were true. Not once since they began their relationship had he ever felt insecure in Felicity or Tommy’s love for him – until now.

“Yes, we were happy – despite our broken hearts. I’m in love with Felicity. She’s in love with me. It’s been that way from the beginning.”

“I know that. I know that you’ve been in love with each other since I came home and discovered you’d been spending time together. How could you not fall in love with one another?” Oliver said, remembering that first pang of jealousy he’d felt when he’d learned that a friendship had blossomed between Tommy and Felicity the summer he’d run away.

Tommy shook his head. “It’s just occurring to you now that maybe you’re not the one either of us loves the most – not anymore.”

Felicity sat up and spread her hands out towards her boyfriends. “Wait a minute. This isn’t a competition. This has never been about who I love the most or who you love the most. I don’t like the implication that our love for one another can be qualified like that.”

“It’s never been a competition for me,” Oliver said.

“Of course not – you thought you were winning this whole time,” Tommy said snidely.

Felicity scrambled from the bed and backed Tommy against a wall. “Look at me,” she demanded. When Tommy tore his gaze away from Oliver and looked at Felicity, she continued, “I know you’re upset and you say mean things when you’re upset, but I need you to think real hard before you make another ugly insinuation. Is this what the last six weeks have been for you? A competition? A way to get even with him for hurting you?”

Tears filled Tommy’s eyes and he wrapped his arms around Felicity. “Babe, no. Never. I love you. I’m in love with you.”

Felicity’s breath hitched. “I’m not Laurel. I won’t be who you use to hurt one another.”

Oliver moved from the bed and wrapped his arms around Felicity from behind. “Never,” Oliver promised. “This isn’t the same. Tommy’s right. I am jealous. I’m jealous that you have six weeks of memories that I’m not a part of because of my own stupid choices. I’m jealous that you’ve gotten closer while I feel like I’m the furthest I’ve ever been from you, but this isn’t some competition between us. You aren’t a prize to win. Neither of you are.”

Felicity turned in Tommy’s arms to face Oliver. She rested her hand over his heart, “There’s nothing to be jealous of. I’m in love with both of you.”

“You chose him,” Oliver said, his voice cracking.

“I didn’t want to choose, you forced me to by leaving,” Felicity said gently. “We chose to be a three so we’d never have to choose – so we’d never have to hurt one another.”

“But you still picked one another when I came back. I feel like I don’t belong anymore – like you don’t need me anymore,” Oliver admitted.

“Oh, hon,” Felicity said, reaching for Oliver’s hands. “I was ready to take you back the moment you said you wanted to come home, but Tommy was hurting and he needed more time. I never doubted that he’d forgive you. I know how much he loves you and how much he missed you.”

“You told me what I wanted to hear?” Tommy said with disbelief.

“No, it's what you needed to hear. What you both needed to hear,” Felicity said. She gestured to the foot of the bed. “I need the both of you to sit down.”

Oliver and Tommy sat side by side and looked up at Felicity. A clap of thunder shook the balcony doors and Oliver jumped. Tommy’s hand slid on top of Oliver’s and he laced their fingers together. Oliver was afraid to move. He didn’t want Tommy to take his hand away when he realized he’d made the unconscious gesture.

Felicity caressed Tommy’s cheek. “Babe, I know your heart as well as my own. I knew what you wanted but were too afraid to admit - but I would’ve stayed with you forever. Even if you never forgave him, I wouldn’t have resented you because he broke up with us and you stayed. You fought for us. I love you and I plan on spending the rest of my life loving you.”

Felicity caressed Oliver’s cheek with her other hand. “I love you and I plan on spending the rest of my life loving you. I never planned on making a choice. You and Tommy are my forever. Do you understand?”

Oliver turned his head and kissed her palm. He did understand. He’d placed her in an impossible position, and she’d made the only choice she could. It didn’t mean her choice didn’t hurt, but he understood why she’d made it. If he’d never left, she never would’ve had to choose. For as long as he lived, Oliver would never forget what it felt like when he thought he’d lost them both forever. He’d never run again. “You’re my forever too – you both are.”

Felicity turned her gaze to Tommy. “What about you?”

Tommy brought Felicity’s hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. He repeated the gesture with Oliver. “You’re both my forever too.”

“Good,” Felicity said with a mischievous smile. “Kiss and make up.”

“What?” Oliver and Tommy asked with a nervous chuckle.

Felicity’s hands landed on her hips. “You heard me. It’s been way too long since I’ve watched the two of you kiss and I miss it.”

Tommy and Oliver turned to face each other. Tommy licked his lips and smirked. “You heard the lady, kiss me already.”

Oliver couldn’t help but smile as he leaned towards Tommy. He nuzzled Tommy’s nose before he softly took Tommy’s bottom lip between his own.

“You can do better than that,” Felicity teased.

Tommy cupped Oliver’s cheek and deepened their kiss. Oliver’s hand slid beneath Tommy’s t-shirt and palmed his lower back. Tommy’s hands sought Oliver’s bare skin beneath his shirt. They broke their kiss when the light in the room turned off.

“Take your shirts off,” Felicity said, climbing onto the bed next to Oliver. Her bare breasts brushed against his arm as she crawled up the bed to take her spot in the middle. “Lose your pants too.”

“Better do what she says,” Tommy whispered loudly. “She’s even bossier now.”

Oliver caught Felicity’s foot before it collided with Tommy’s back. “Are you sure?”

Lightning lit up their room, giving a flash of a very naked Felicity smiling at them. “You know what they say about falling off a horse – we need to climb back on.”

“Who is the horse in this scenario?” Tommy asked.

“Tommy.”

“Yes, babe.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tommy said as he stood up, pulling Oliver with him.

Oliver and Tommy undressed in the dark and then joined Felicity on the bed. They settled in on either side of her and rested their heads on her shoulders. She reached for their hands and held them over her heart. “This is who we’re meant to be.”

A distant rumble of thunder reverberated through their room.

“It’s heading inland,” Oliver said with relief.

“The storm will pass by morning,” Tommy said as he pulled the covers over them. “We’ll have a sunny day with smooth seas.”

Felicity yawned loudly. “I think those oysters were defective. We’re naked and all I want to do is sleep.”

Oliver kissed her temple. “Go to sleep. We’ll be here when you wake up.”

Tommy rolled onto his side and hooked a leg over Felicity and Oliver’s. “I’ll get some oysters in the morning.”

“Don’t get defective ones,” Felicity said before she yawned.

“I won’t,” Tommy promised, his smile clear in his voice. “Ollie has a berth to christen.”

The familiar patter of their bedtime conversation filled Oliver with warmth. It felt like he’d finally come home. “Don’t forget the champagne,” he said. “We have a new beginning to celebrate.”  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Your kudos and comments are what keep me writing and are always appreciated.
> 
> I'm sorry for being away from the series for this long. I've been traveling all over the country for work and I took a week to visit my niece. Toddlers are exhausting. 
> 
> You can also come say hi to me on tumblr. I'm always happy to answer questions about this verse or anything else Arrow. http://realityisoverrated-fic.tumblr.com


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